NO!!!

Ben, at the end of the school year was hit accidently with a badminton racket. Since then he was having headaches. So naturally, we had to have him checked out by our family doctor. He said it is probably a concussion from the hit. He recieved some pills for headaches and sent home. We started seeing him being tired often, the headaches we not going away and he couldn't talk very coherently, having difficulty finding his words. That's not normal for Ben. So we took him to Children's hospital.

They also checked him, did some blood work, which came back normal, and said the same. We suggested they do a CT scan to see if everything is ok but they said they wouldn't do that seeing as he's an ocology patient and the emergency doesn't point to anything cancer related. At least that's our understanding of their rationale.

So, we went home. Took the headache pills and continued on...

That same weekend, things were not improving. So we said, enough of this, and took him to Children's Hospital again but this time to oncology.

Our oncologist saw him and said, "This is concerning". When an oncologist says this, you know it's not good.

So they did a CT scan of his head and we waited for the results. Longest 90 minutes ever! Then our oncologist came into his room with 2 nurses and another doctor.

They told us Ben had a brain tumour the size of a tennis ball on his left side. They said they would have to operate immediately to remove the tumour. They don't know if it's cancerous or not yet.

I don't have to explain how we all felt. From devastated, to scared, to angry, to sad, to questioning why, and how and why wasn't this found earlier?

So Ben was prepped right away for a night at the hospital and brain surgery the next morning. I stayed with Ben that night at the hospital and needless to say, I didn't get any sleep. Ben got a little sleep but it was restless.

The operation lasted about 4 hours. Those were the most nervous 4 hours I've ever been through. Knowing that your child is having a tumour removed from his brain and that fact that anything can go wrong. We don't know the outcome. It's difficult to write this without feeling everything all over again. I just felt so awful for Ben having to go through all this stress again only this time it's different.

The brain surgeon come to see us and told us that he thinks he got most of it out but that there may be a very small amount that he just couldn't get due to the fact that it was hard to reach and that he didn't want to damage any areas of the brain that would control his thinking, motor skills etc. We were just so happy he was doing ok and that most of the tumour was removed.

Now comes the recovery and the followup. What happens next. Is it cancerous? If so, what kind of cancer? So many questions. So many more worries.....and it's on...